Poker night!!!
Yesterday.
I met my friends after long time and it was kind of strange. Well, I was thinking about it at work today. This somehow leads to some kind of reconsideration of my friendship limits and values.
I am a strange friend. I know.
But sometimes I need my space and I started ferociously defending my privacy.
Sometimes friends, my friends, doesn't understand it. Not all of them, anyway.
And put themselves over some kind of pedestal judging YOU for being away and simply living your life without involving them into your choices.
Anyway, it was a nice night and I enjoyed meeting them after long time. Mostly, I got a confirm that
perhaps is not me acting strangely but the whole situation forces everybody doing like that. Steve McFalz, if you're reading, you know what I mean.
Looks like the whole group evolved into some kind of poker-guided group, since, 5/9 of the members are, not only my cousin's colleagues, but also very much into poker. What it started as a friends' activity, turned into something different. As usual, I would say. It happened with fantasy-soccer, karting and everything other idea my cousin had into his mind.
This doesn't necessarily means is something bad. The people I met yesterday was funny and entertaining. But everything looks different from me. From what I "becoming". Maybe I'm growing more focused on
me and I'm less vulnerable or paying attention at these things.
I know, this post looks "blurred" with a "wanted" lack of accurate informations from me. Perhaps it somehow reflects my current mood. I'm a bit confused about what I want and what I don't want from friendship.
I can call some colleague as "friend" and I started feeling that I'm much more "natural" and immediate with them than my usual friends. Maybe is the key around what everything is happening on me.
Feeling good. Feeling comfortable.
I know my friends from long time and it somehow looks weird that I start feeling uncomfortable with them
right now, but, I'm aware that people's mood and personality changes as age grows. And my personality changed. I'm getting more "unrespectful" of group's priority and, call me selfish, I started feeling not interested in the collective.
That's what I'm becoming.
Comments (2)
Sometimes you gotta do your own thing.
...Or maybe I just don't understand how so many people can expect to be kept up to date on all of your business all the time, and be mad when you want a little space...cultural difference, I think.
@BranmacFeabhail - yeah, you hit the target. They are really jealous of their own business while, at the same time, wants to be constantly be updated about mine...so, my reaction was to become more and more secret and discreet...it seems it's working...